About a year and a half ago I met a woman who used to work at the restaurant I work now; because of this we have mutual friends from work. I summarize what you need to know about this woman in one simple phrase: she was a slut in the best sense of the term. More specifically she was a power-slut, meaning she slept with powerful people to feel powerful herself. Now, is this wrong? Absolutely not. If it makes you feel good, do it. Wrap it, tap it. Hit it, quit it. However, please do understand the cost of your sexual transaction.
This particular woman slept with a significant portion of University of Missouri's athletic department. She dabbled in basketball players, football players, a couple of staff members, and maybe even Coach Pinkel (isn't he married because this might be a little more than maybe...). Many people we work with know about this. In fact, I think we all do. I also think we told all of our friends, who probably told all of their friends and so forth. And this happens for some time, long enough for the good old word-of-mouth effect to set in and now too many people know. This girl becomes embarrassed about her reputation and transfers schools, going from MU to somewhere in the West, maybe in the desert, somewhere outside of Phoenix. She basically went to a school where her type of reputation would be more acceptable and she could start again trading her flesh for athletic-political power. And anew she started. She must have, in some way or another, rationalized that by moving away from her problem that she was paying off her social-sexual transaction debt (which was quite high, home-girl has fucked/was fucking all the basketball and footballers back in the day) because homegirl was up to her all tricks and her new tricks at the same time. She maintained contact with her MU football player fuck-buddies (can you think about being Peen-Pals with this dude?) and contrary to what those of you who believe in self-respect might think, they still kept coming to her to get laid. She had gone from being a power-slut to being her own booty-market. Trade was on the up and up. But once again, she forgot that all social transactions have a price. Until her friends reminded her.
One of our mutual friends, who for the purpose of anonymity we will call Jenny, went to visit this woman/power-slut/booty-market to catch up on old times and go see Lil' Wayne in concert (I'm pretty sure they set up some kind of stipulated rule system to decide, in the event of Lil' Wayne being sexually available and physically proximal to them, who got to hit it first. That's just the type of power-sluts they are: organized). They started off in the quasi-Phoenix area, where Power-Slut had arranged one of her old buddies (ambiguous as whether this is just-buddy v. fuck-buddy) to meet Jenny in person (the two had been introduced via internet beforehand to check for compatibility i.e. attractiveness, dick size, social status, etc.) so that they both had a piece o' man meat while Jenny was still in town.
Well, someway or another, Jenny slipped it to her temp-man that Power-Slut was the power-slut of power-sluts back home in good old Columbia and managed to suck and fuck her way to the top of the athletic-political chain (i.e. provide orgasms to none other than Coach Gary Pinkel). Being not only a good bro, but also a decent human being, he forewarns his brethren about the situation that has gone done with the power-slut's body (probably just tells them it will be easy and to wrap it if they don't want anything for keepsies). News spreads quickly in the camp (men make sure all their buddies know who the easy girl is) and Power-Slut notices a change in dynamic: Somebody knows.
Actually, fucking everybody knows.
The Lil’ Wayne concert is in San Diego (note: at least five hours from home-base in Phoenix) and once they get there Power-Slut and Jenny start drinking (note: power-slut ritualistic rite) and reveal their true selves to the world.
This is where things start to get a little bit unclear.
Apparently Power-Slut confronts Jenny and says something along the lines of, “Bitch, you fucking told.” Jenny being a much more tactful power-slut keeps playing it by the book using the famous Deny-Deny-Deny technique (even though she definitely told and i couldn't have been anyone except for her) and instead turns the argument against power-slut citing the fact that she did in fact sleep with all of those dudes, even as far as specifically citing the Coach Pinkel Situation (did I mention Power-Slut’s man-meat is in the room the whole entire time this going on?) and the two erupt in hormonal rage against each other. They both are out of resources because their power-slut capabilities have been rendered useless by too much drinking and arguing (no one wants to touch the teary-eyed, pissed off girl) so they have no way of getting to Lil’ Wayne's concert. And neither of them actually paid for their tickets (power-sluts don’t pay for shit in cash, it’s all pussy money), the decision is made that they should just not go. And they don’t.
However, the competition is not over. Jenny somehow manages to get herself kicked out/locked out of their hotel room room and has to Apologize-Apologize-Apologize to get back in (Jenny always plays it by the book, she’s a pretty pro power-slut). Hung-over and still not over the previous night’s tension, the two decide that after this they will not be friends right before the five hour drive back to ASU… I mean Phoenix…Can you say awkward?
Synopsis:
Power-slutting is not an amateur field. You have to know your shit. It’s like the economics of slinging your ass without really being a ho, but really being a ho. Power-sluts from the dawn of time have been passing their techniques down via oral tradition and cultural rites. However, there are rules and things to be understood about the activity.
First of all, ain’t no shit free in this process. Power-sluts objectify themselves and turn themselves into a commodity. Some do this knowingly, others on accident. If you don’t want to use your ass as currency, then don’t dress like a ho, don’t act like a ho, and don’t expect shit from anyone. The feeling of entitlement is the first thing that will drag a perfectly good power-slut down. Remember: if you pay for your own shit with non-booty based currency, there is little chance for booty-based consequences to occur.
Second of all, pay all of your booty-debts. This includes sleeping with the dude who paid your expensive ass bar tab, the dude who paid for your expensive ass hotel; just general things to keep your clients happy because, and trust me on this, they talk to each other. The only reason I know Power-Slut is a power-slut is because bitch wasn’t paying her booty-bills. She was just giving people a taste of the action when she tricked them into paying for her in real dollars .(You know people won’t say shit about it if they get what they want. And you know Pinkel hasn’t said shit.) In the social-sexual arena, the people are the market place and the invisible hand is gossip. Gossip will correct that ass.
And finally, if you don’t want people to know about it, don’t do it. You wouldn’t open a fucking store in the middle of a downtown metropolitan area and be like, “Oh no, don’t tell anyone about my shop even though we have great products at discounted prices.” You know why? Because that doesn’t make any fucking sense. If you use your body like a commodity, people will treat it like so. Self-respecting power-sluts not only exist, but they understand moderation and knowing the key times and persons with whom to make a transaction.
Evan
Evan
